OK. So I've neglected this way too long.
It's officially 8th week. I am finding this incredibly hard to believe. Oxford terms are certainly short, but I'd call this ridiculous. I will be at home this time next week. I am nearly a third of the way through my degree. OHMYGOD.
I have signed up for arguably the Best option next term; "English Chivalry and the French War". It is so amazing, that one of the set texts is actually "The Knight's Tale" by Chaucer. Cue excitement.... plus, no more 1815-1914 or Sociology, like, EVER again.
I have been "shortlisted" for the Magdalen bursary that basically pays History students to go to Stanford in California for a month in September to study/read: slack off, compared to Oxford workload. Interview on Wednesday. Get in.
And something I actually feel is worth writing about. I have spent much of this evening sleeping on and off, and have felt pretty low since around 3pm, so do not particularly want any company. This is because today I had a callback to audition for the OUDS play "Lovers" by Brian Friel. Suffice it to say that the play is brilliant and heartwrenching and all those things, and has one female role out of a possible two roles. I was pretty pleased to get to the final 4 girls, and loved the callback; it was a 2-hr workshop thing during which I read two very different scenes. The second scene was absolutely tragic and intense, and - ridiculously - I ended up crying in the middle of reading it, quite spontaneously. I LOVE this play, and I want to be in it so much. But something about reading that scene just got to me. I never quite understood about acting having the potential to actually move you deeply, but it just... did. I didn't want to do anything or see anyone for the rest of the day. I felt literally vulnerable. Isn't that mad!? I just... became my role - as stupid and thespy as it sounds. And I'm just desperate to know for sure one way or another, because I am suddenly reminded of how fun it is to act.
"I love Joseph Brennan! D'you hear me, Sister Dolores? I love him so much - so much - that I just want to... be him. God, it sounds crazy! But it's how I feel. Do you feel like that too?"
OK. So I've neglected this way too long.
Can't believe how neglectful I have been of this journal of late. It's hardly as though I've had better things to do, as I have intentionally tried to spend as much of this holiday as possible indoors/asleep/catching up on dvds/reading (not the right things; my British 2 revision is idling on my bedside table; but anyway). However, I'm baaack!! And as everyone's doing New Year posts I thought I'd get on the bandwagon.
To sum up the year I think I'll just say it was all-round excellent. I got my As in the exams (against all odds I might add!), went to a lot of interesting places and met a lot of amazing new people. I realised I couldn't be happier than I am at Oxford, so my decision to go there wasn't a dumb one after all. And I feel like I am quite different now, in a good way... I hope I am anyway. And I hope to continue changing and being this happy for a looong time. And it's all good :) But now I am getting to be about as corny as Clint Eastwood's "Flags of our Fathers", which I saw this evening and was distinctly underwhelmed by, incidentally. So, resolutions.. even though I promised myself not to make any.
- Work hard. Not spend a total of one frantic day on my essay/s.Visit the library more than once a week. Not fall asleep in group tutes. This one is going to be tricky.
- Budget, be sensible. And stuff.
- Write more. Specifically, make use of the ideas I've had buzzing round my head for months now. I feel like I should achieve something significant.
I can't even think of anymore. Damn. Anyway, I'm just going to enjoy this last week of laziness. "Prison Break" dvds, icecream, baths and SHOPPING. Hoorah.
Soooo. My first 8/9 weeks at Oxford were evidently survived. I had basically the most amazing time of my life and can't believe I get to go back and do it again in January (something that I am just counting the days to now). I miss it and everyone so ridiculously much. I miss staying up all night talking. I miss seeing Magdalen Tower from my bedroom window. I miss living on noodles, hot chocolate and cocktails. I miss having my best friends living on my corridor. I miss going for walks in Christchurch Meadows. I miss hearing the choir sing at Evensong. I miss the grotty inedible food in Hall. I miss going out for chips at 2am. I miss free university-wide phonecalls. I miss getting random emails from the Deans. I miss getting deaned for talking loudly. I miss parties in the flete. I miss bop shopping at Primark. I miss icecream at 11pm. I miss getting woken up by drunks on the bridge in the middle of the night. I miss talking about Henry II and John in tutes. I miss the deer. I miss Noodlebar. I miss the amazingfabulouswonderful people, some of whom will read this. It feels so much like my home now. I'm surprising myself with how much I think I've changed.
For now, though, all the late nights may cause me to write in this much more. That is if I'm not being happily distracted by "Prison Break". My newest guilty pleasure. Wentworth Miller... fkghlghor. And he was born in Chipping Norton. Craziness.
Anyway love to all x
Plus, did anyone see the stars tonight? AMAZING.
enough of the moan. i feel pretty good at the moment. today was REALLY cool, and it shouldn't really have been, seeing as it's wednesday (my "work day".. i'm a historian.. yes, i only work one day a week, get in). i got up at 12 to do my henry ii essay, in for 7pm, and managed it in 5hrs - a new record for me, and quite good i thought. anyway, i was writing said essay, and i realised: i am actually enjoying this!! to the point that i got hugely carried away and only checked the word count right at the end (2500 words! yay!) & i was just walking to college to give it in when i got a reeeeally good feeling, and actually felt fantastic, because i realised exactly why i came here, and why i came here to do history. i love it so much!!! even the general coldness at the moment is good, because everything looks so fabulous and wintry, and i love my college ridiculous amounts, and i have the most amazing friends here, and i'm doing what i genuinely love. for the first time, i loved the work i was doing, and that was the only thing that really got me down before. and so it is all good. so good.
in other news... i'm college engaged to james (though it is a trial, i admit, and since we occasionally annoy each other i may be tempted quite often to break it off), and tony and ed are my backup husbands. i had 4 malibu and cokes at the kings' arms tonight and i must say my alcohol tolerance has improved, as i was barely even tipsy. i watched "brideshead" last night and got geekily excited at the oxford bits. aaand i am in cherwell AND oxstu! yes, i am "the" harriet bradley whom george galloway insulted gravely at the oxford union. hoorah.
po na na tomorrow, so i may see a couple of you oxonians around there! hope all are well.
so yeah, it's like 12.30, and i have a serious essay crisis. really hope it is humanly possible to prepare and write a 1500 word essay in about 8 hours tomorrow.
anywayy, any oxonians reading this, come to park end with me and verity tomorrow, twill be fabulous (allegedly.) i'm going to go and seek out my dear college brother, who is working far too hard and has actually been in the library all night, so... hope all are ok!
I am very happy, I should probably say this first. Anyone else just starting at Oxford will know what I mean, I am sure (and I hope!) Right now I am sitting at my neeew desk in my neeew room in the Flete. The Flete!!!! I MUST tell you about the Flete, not least because my ox-lj buddies must come round at some point and it actually is the most legendary place ever.
The Flete, otherwise known as the Waynflete, is a large 60s monstrosity just over Magdalen bridge housing around 100 Magd first years. It rules everything basically, and you wish you lived here.
On my Flete-tastic corridor is : Dan (Classics, has ALREADY DONE HIS FIRST ESSAY), me (yay), Patricia (Chemistry), Andre (Computer Sci, Russian - the only thing I have ever heard him say is "Do you have a knife"), Greg (Engineering), Terry (Engineering, ex-Harrow, Korean, home is LA; yes I am confused), Meredith (PPE, stays out til 6 every morning but we have no idea where), Lucy (French, but she is in fact Australian), and Tim (History. Hooray.) Our corridor seems best summed up as the one which the Dean of the Flete (unfortunate grad student who lives here and attempts to keep order) frequents the most, particularly last night during which time he finally cracked and growled at us to "GO TO BED". However, the corridor directly underneath us is also rather good. Emily, Aleks, Dave, Pip, Jenny and some other people all live there. Come and visit us if you are in Oxford!!!
I guess I should just list some of the high points of Freshers week thus far as I haven't had enough sleep for the past 5 days to do a proper account.
- First night : free (scarily blue) drinks/uncommon amounts of vodka at Escape on High St, which was my undoing. Left about 3 hours before everyone else with Aleks out of absolute drunkenness, and somehow managed to return to the Flete without falling down one of the holes in the road (I HATE ROADWORKS BUT THAT'S ANOTHER STORY). Then proceeded to commit college incest (Aleks is my college brother, etc) until about 6am when I retired to my room, fortunately undetected by fellow Flete dwellers.
- Meeting with the History tutors; the infamously scary Brockliss told us we'd be averaging about 8 hours of work per day if we valued our lives. Basically. Slightly weasly tutor Dr Neill seemed to spend most of it "subtly" eyeing up we female Historians. I later had to sit next to him at formal hall, wherein he proceeded to tell me he'd been hungover throughout my interview last year (but Brockliss was "probably more so"). Nice. Thanks for that.
- Got set my first essay. Funadoodles. It's on the C11th economy which is actually the dullest thing I have ever had to even think about. Need to actually do it sometime; deadline next Wednesday.
- Discovered the condom machine in the laundry room of the Flete. I was with 3 guys at the time, it was late, and the condoms are 2p each. 2 PENCE!! Just as we were loudly wondering how effective such condoms could possibly be, the Dean appeared out of nowhere looking distinctly unimpressed. I feel he may not have got the BEST impression of me so far.
- Hahaaaa. Aleks, Aleks, Aleks. My dear brother was at Law drinks til midnight last night, and just as a `group of us emerged from a room, we witnessed him collapse in the corridor after having vomited at several locations in both the college and the Flete. Tried to be sympathetic, but yeah. It was amusing. Also, the Dean is responsible enough for all of us.
I really should do some washing (quite excited about this), but tonight I am being dragged to Brookes to some club suspiciously called the "Pleasuredome". This sounds supremely bad, and it is a good 45 mins walk each way, so we may actually have to start drinking before we set off. Hence, wish me luck. I should NEVER drink.
Hope alll are good, esp Oxford people :)
But yeah. I shall be around in ye olde Oxenford from tomorrow afternoon, so any other people in the vicinity, pleease get in touch! My mobile is 07919188731. We MUST do a lj-crew meetup at some point!
Wish me luck :D :D I'm soooo exciiited!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That is all that can be said about my room at the moment, and indeed my life in general. Packing has turned into a disaster. I had counted on maybe 2 suitcases and a couple of smaller bags. However, this is not to be. I will need about five MILLION suitcases GODAMMIT.
However, the silver lining is that today, my clothes shopping finally reached its natural conclusion. I found a purple polkadot dressing gown!zomg and some pyjama bottoms, as well as a new bag, and some underwear. A thoroughly commendable shopping day. Everything's just sort of sitting in the middle of my bedroom floor now, looking slightly lost. I have also discovered that I have to iron about half my clothes (this will be after I have learnt to USE an iron..), and THEN pack them. Which means stress, basically. But for some reason it's all good; I'm going to see both "World Trade Centre" (Nicolas Cage, can I ever trust you again?) and "Children of Men" tomorrow, and there is still some thrill-tastic food shopping to be done on Sunday with my father. And I'm still feeling smug after a 2-hour walk with Laura and the dogs on Thursday; hopefully that'll be enough exercise for the next few months ;)
Sooooooooooo excited, innit.